A house divided
by Jennifer Cohron
Nov 04, 2012 | 1581 views | 0 0 comments | 17 17 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Jennifer Cohron
Jennifer Cohron
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I fear that Zac and I are setting our child up for an identity crisis.

Not only will Wyatt answer to both his first and middle names, but now he might also be confused about whether he should root for Alabama or Auburn.

His father’s stance on this matter is clear. Alabama rules; Auburn drools.

Zac has said from the moment we found out we were having a boy that he would not force sports upon our son. However, he couldn’t help himself from dropping a few hints while the baby makes up his own mind.

Some of Wyatt’s first onesies had University of Alabama logos on them. He also came into the world as the proud owner of a “Born to be a Bama fan” piggy bank.

Before Wyatt was even thinking about talking, Zac was teaching him how to spin his chubby little wrists in circles for “Roll Tide.”

Of course, Zac was thrilled when I bought Wyatt a Big Al costume for his first Halloween.

Six-month-old Wyatt was the cutest elephant that either of us had ever seen. During a photo shoot in our front yard, he cracked us up when he spontaneously started chewing on his trunk.

Last year, Wyatt and Zac dressed up as Scooby Doo and Shaggy. They fit their characters so perfectly that I didn’t think it would be possible to top Halloween 2011.

We looked at costumes a couple of times this year but never found one that seemed to interest Wyatt.

We decided to just buy candy and a Halloween-themed shirt of some kind rather than risk paying for an outfit that Wyatt would refuse to wear on the big night.

Then we found out that the church we recently began attending would be hosting a Trunk or Treat. While we were discussing games that we could set up in the back of the Blazer, inspiration struck.

Zac has a straw Alabama hat that looks just like the one Nick Saban wears during practices, and one of Wyatt’s new favorite DVDs is “The Tigger Movie.”

“What if y’all dress up like Saban and Aubie?” I asked, bracing for Zac to slam on the brakes in the middle of Highway 78.

Instead, he admitted that it was a pretty funny idea.

We happened to be heading to the big box store that shall remain nameless anyway, so we stopped by the college apparel aisle on our way to pick up other items.

The Aubie costumes were hanging on an end cap as if they knew we were coming for one of them. When I pulled one down and showed it to Wyatt, he smiled and screamed, “Tigger!”

As the color drained from Zac’s face, I asked, “Is this what you want to be for Halloween?” His red curls shook vigorously as he nodded and answered, “Uh huh!”

Although Zac refused to touch the outfit for fear that it would burn his skin, he looked the other way when I bought it for Wyatt. I think he was thankful when it finally got put in a bag so that no one would see him walking out of the store with Auburn merchandise.

I couldn’t wait to see how Wyatt looked in it. As soon as we got home, he and I went in the bathroom so I could try it on him.

I emerged a few minutes later holding the hand of the most adorable Aubie ever. Even Zac had to admit that Auburn orange looks good on our little red-head with big blue eyes.

When Wyatt started showing off his “Lion King” roar while wearing the Aubie suit, Zac laughed good-naturedly, but I thought I heard his heart break a little.

He got his revenge at the Trunk or Treat. About the 20th time I heard him say, “No, he’s Tigger” to a person who could plainly see an Auburn emblem on Wyatt’s chest, I had to threaten him with physical violence.

I guess I should have worn the attire of my alma mater to complete our “A Trunk Divided” tailgating theme, but I thought it might confuse people.

In spite of rumors throughout my four years at UAB that we had a football team, there was never enough evidence to make me believe it.